This Goddamned Company Continues To Haunt Me

After taking care of my '07 taxes and getting my (unmatched) 401k contributions out of Ingham (who I always suspected were cronies of Daddy and Junior) during the past couple of months, I thought I was finally finished with ever having to deal with anything FNLC-related ever again.

Guess again.

I'm currently being subjected to a background check as I move into a new position at my current company. This morning, I was informed that the company performing the background check cannot locate any information about First NLC and cannot verify my previous employment at the company. I've been asked to provide proof by faxing my FNLC W-2 forms. As you can imagine, the idea of rummaging through my financial records and faxing personal information is not something I am comfortable with.

Fortunately, I have another card up my sleeve. Last year, when my original background check was completed, I requested my own copy of the report, which I happen to keep on hand during times like this, when I need to look up details like corporate mailing addresses and contacts in order to apply for jobs. This report has my FNLC experience confirmed, so I've referred the background checking company to their earlier work. Hopefully, that will take care of this issue.

I've worked for over a half-dozen companies in the past 15 years or so, and FNLC isn't the only one that has ceased to exist, yet they are the only one that I've ever had this kind of trouble with. A closer look at my background check reveals a possible explanation - every company has (or seems to subscribe to) some type of formalized database that provides this information. They generate a mini-report that gets rolled into my background check. Every one, that is, except for FNLC. My FNLC work history confirmation consisted of a note from FNLC HR and an explanation that FNLC doesn't provide further information.

Should it surprise any of us that FNLC "did what was required" by cutting corners and relying on manual, outdated methods to compile employee records? Of course not. This is just another example of how the company would take the easiest and cheapest path for anything that did not contribute to profits.

Well, guess what, Daddy and Junior? All of that sneaky and self-serving penny-pinching still didn't keep your asses from being kicked to the curb by FBR. Oh, I'm sure you think that you'll just ride out the storm and show up again when the market is ripe for small-minded, greedy, ignorant fools to make boatloads of money, but it's never happening for you again. Your name is mud in this industry and your reputations will be forever tarnished by your actions over the past three years, when you could have kept the ship from sinking but instead focused on moving into T. Rex, petty sibling squabbles and watching the FBR stock ticker.

I know some of you may still be looking for work, so I'd like to encourage everybody to be prepared for a similar situation, since, according to my resources, your tenure at First NLC may have never "officially" existed.