Friday, August 8, 2008

Like A Phoenix Rises from the Ashes...Only This Is More Like A Turd Rising from the Sewer

Well, well, well. Guess who's back (besides me, of course)? Why, it's Daddy, Junior, "the other" Junior and all of their cronies. This time, they're disguised as RPM Oversight (thanks to blog reader Pete for giving us the heads-up). How ironic that the word "oversight" is in the company name, what with all of the crucial "oversights" these clowns had during the past couple of years. I also see that the utter failure and bankruptcy of FNLC wasn't mentioned in any of the exec bios, either. I guess that's just another "oversight," eh?

So, what does RPM Oversight do? According to the site:

"RPM Oversight thoroughly reviews and assesses the documentation, compliance, property value, and servicing records of every loan in every portfolio we manage."

Hmmm. Interesting. Since when are these guys concerned with "thoroughly reviewing" anything? I never realized that shipping boxes and boxes of documents out of Florida and into an unused office space in California was considered portfolio management, but to each his own...

Let's have a little fun with the "Who We Are" section of the site, shall we?

RPM Oversight is comprised of a group of highly skilled mortgage industry and legal veterans (and the Henschels, too) who specialize (don't you have to perform something on a regular basis to "specialize" in it?) in creating value and maximizing return on investments in residential mortgage loan and real estate portfolios (while cashing out assets and looking out for only the largest stakeholders when the ship starts sinking).

Our team (Daddy) has more than 100 years of combined experience in the real estate, legal, and mortgage lending industries, enabling us to assist (bilk) you in the purchase, rehabilitation, refinance, (liquidation, bankruptcy) and sale of loans for higher returns (to outstanding creditors).

Our hands-on approach allows for an indiviudal assessment of the documentation, compliance, property value and servicing records of every loan we manage, the result of which is increased returns for our clients (the jokes just write themselves, don't they?).

Our team has originated and sold more than $20 billion (worth $5 billion) in mortgage loans to Wall Street and other institutional investors (who can't come after us because we declared bankruptcy) over the last seven years (not including the past two, of course). We have negotiated the purchase and/or sale of more than $1 billion of distressed mortgage loans (including our own, but not Kent Cope's).

The company is headquartered in Boca Raton, Florida (T.Rex).

1 comment:

Baron Womb said...

after reading the "website" for this new company, it sounds like just another family startup with the usual favorite former employees helping out. I would be surprized if they get any actual real business out of it - and god help those clients if they do!